I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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