Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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