I'm gonna have a badass scar
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
