it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My vagina just clenched in fear
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
