But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
