I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
