Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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