the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
either way he was missing a nipple.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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