Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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