that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
