tell your sister to shave her snatch
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
