I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
