i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
