if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
