he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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