Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
