well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
