Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
