I look better un-naked...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
