the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
