She announced her abortion via fbk
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize