please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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