BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
