his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
