We're like a lot better than the average bears
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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