my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
