one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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