so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
