i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.