Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.