Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home

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  (912): I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar. (678): I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home http://tfl.nu/hat9
  Replies (14) Good night (1559) Bad night (825)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.

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  (636): I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher. http://tfl.nu/pfmp
  Replies (132) Good night (8627) Bad night (926)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man

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  (914): I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man http://tfl.nu/puq5
  Replies (14) Good night (5513) Bad night (1457)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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  (910): after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it http://tfl.nu/b99n
  Replies (48) Good night (2863) Bad night (6132)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..

  (256): View more from Alabama

  everythings easier when your wearing a toga.

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  (205): Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga.. (256): everythings easier when your wearing a toga. http://tfl.nu/a4vc
  Replies (22) Good night (7327) Bad night (1047)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  his penis is PERFECT

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

  (802): View more from Vermont

  or knit it little hat

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  (802): his penis is PERFECT (802): I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm (802): or knit it little hat http://tfl.nu/4cuj
  Replies (37) Good night (10001) Bad night (1468)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

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  (703): i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me http://tfl.nu/jgjv
  Replies (8) Good night (4381) Bad night (1050)
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  (347): View more from New York

  He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

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  (347): He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones. http://tfl.nu/swc2
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (2839)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.

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  (+44): Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife. http://tfl.nu/3wb9
  Replies (11) Good night (862) Bad night (2374)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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  (563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v
  Replies (8) Good night (1518) Bad night (731)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Last night was just one giant freudian slip.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You made out with EVERYBODY.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Can I just bleach my life?

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  (702): Last night was just one giant freudian slip. (503): You made out with EVERYBODY. (702): Can I just bleach my life? http://tfl.nu/dy05
  Replies (3) Good night (1729) Bad night (615)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.

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  (301): The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able. http://tfl.nu/bzys
  Replies (60) Good night (4075) Bad night (947)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.

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  (717): For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point. http://tfl.nu/kshm
  Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (334)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.

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  (720): I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks. http://tfl.nu/u2av
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (323)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list

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  (952): I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list http://tfl.nu/awd8
  Replies (4) Good night (383) Bad night (178)

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