Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yes give me all the cream and he's gone

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  (919): Yes give me all the cream and he's gone http://tfl.nu/m4vo
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (538)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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  (702): I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless http://tfl.nu/97sl
  Replies (18) Good night (848) Bad night (2233)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...

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  (310): It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass... http://tfl.nu/egbe
  Replies (69) Good night (1438) Bad night (4530)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now

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  (443): I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now http://tfl.nu/gk88
  Replies (8) Good night (4210) Bad night (653)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.

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  (330): I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical. http://tfl.nu/0rx8
  Replies (16) Good night (6656) Bad night (728)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture

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  (717): I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture http://tfl.nu/ued3
  Replies (15) Good night (4226) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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  (312): My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger. http://tfl.nu/m23s
  Replies (10) Good night (822) Bad night (4798)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.

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  (724): Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am. http://tfl.nu/emfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2384) Bad night (780)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.

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  (302): Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself. http://tfl.nu/ycey
  Replies (8) Good night (3465) Bad night (999)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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  (608): She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism. http://tfl.nu/czkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (577)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

  (972): View more from Texas

  OHHH and there was a Batman too.

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  (972): The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard (972): OHHH and there was a Batman too. http://tfl.nu/jx09
  Replies (13) Good night (1339) Bad night (572)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts

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  (+61): As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts http://tfl.nu/kck3
  Replies (9) Good night (2014) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.

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  (484): THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt. http://tfl.nu/dqcw
  Replies (5) Good night (528) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.

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  (270): He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE. http://tfl.nu/8wqq
  Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (323)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...

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  (203): Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding... http://tfl.nu/mtt2
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (254)

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