I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.