You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
