I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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