thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
