I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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