The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
