He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
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OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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