Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
