If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
