Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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