It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
