i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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