Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
