how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
And then he peed in my hair
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