Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
