Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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