I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
