Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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