So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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