Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
