Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
