sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
