Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You need Xanax blowdarts
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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