I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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