just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
