The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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