No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
