he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
