I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize