her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this just has baby written all over it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
