so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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