Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
