Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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