Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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