Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
